Fun Files (Texts, Jokes, Links, Games etc.)

[FiireLove]

Originally Posted by Shart_xX

Haha woher haste den xD? Not Bad^^

B2T:

wie bekommt man einen elefanten in einen kühlschrank?
Tür auf, elefant rein, tür zu.

wie bekommt man eine giraffe in eine kuehlschrank?
Tür auf, elefant raus, giraffe rein, tür zu.

HAMMER ODER!! xD

Es gibt eine Tierversammlung alle Tiere sind dort bis auf eins. Welches fehlt?

 Spoiler

Giraffe, da sie im Kühlschrank ist :P

[xZanx]

Anruf beim PC-Pannen-Dienst:
"Hallo bei PC Helferlein, wie kann ich Ihnen helfen?"
"Hallo, ich habe gerade meinen Computer angeschaltet, allerdings erscheint kein Bild."
"Leuchtet am Bildschirm ein ein kleines Lämpchen?"
"Nein!"
"OK, bitte überprüfen Sie, ob ein Kabel vom Bildschirm zum PC führt!"
"Moment bitte" - kurze Stille - "Ja, da ist ein Kabel!"
"Nun gut, dann überprüfen Sie mal ob ein Kabel vom Bildschirm zu einer Steckdose führt!"
"OK, kleinen Moment" - kurze Stille - "Leider kann ich das nicht genau erkennen, es ist so dunkel hier!"
"Schalten sie doch das Licht ein!"
"Geht nicht, wir haben einen Stromausfall!"

[[GM]Force]

watch it

[TraumLand]

Sitzen zwei Leichen auf einer Mauer, eine fällt runter, beide Tod.

Die Rodeo-Stellung: Der Mann nimmt sie von hinten und sagt dann: "Ich habe AIDS !". Dann muß er versuchen, drei Minuten auf ihr zu bleiben...

Was ist grün und hüpft durch den Wald?
-Ein Rudel Gurken

Und wo ist da der Witz?
- Gurken sind keine Rudel Tiere

[JAN014]

[BlackSoulLady]

Kommt ein Unterhändler von Coca-Cola in den Vatikan. Er bietet 100.000 Dollar, wenn das "Vaterunser" geändert wird. Es soll in Zukunft heißen: "Unser täglich Coke gib uns heute!" Der Sekretär lehnt kategorisch ab. Auch bei 200.000 und 500.000 Dollar hat der Vertreter keinen Erfolg. Er telefoniert mit seiner Firma und bietet schließlich 10 Millionen Dollar. Der Sekretär zögert, greift dann zum Haustelefon und ruft den Papst an: "Chef, wie lange läuft der Vertrag mit der Bäckerinnung noch?"

[DannyTravis]

Deine Mutter zockt Counter Strike mit'm Lenkrad xD

[Match*Star.]

A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses.

She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks you're stupid, stand up!"
After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up.
The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?"

"No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"

[xZanx]

Originally Posted by Match*Star.

A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses.

She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks you're stupid, stand up!"
After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up.
The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?"

"No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"

Warum machst du deine eigentlich immer auf englisch manche verstehen das eben nicht... die dir vll dann ne Thx etc mehr geben können...

[Dr. B. Hindert]

Originally Posted by xZanx

Warum machst du deine eigentlich immer auf englisch manche verstehen das eben nicht... die dir vll dann ne Thx etc mehr geben können...

vor allem immer schön 1 "witz" posten, warten bis ein andrer postet, und sofort der nächste nach, schön posts ergammeln. Lahme witze win

[Desr0w]

mein motto:
ich geh jetzt auf die hüpfburg, bis dann ihr idioten!

[SOADx3]

xD

[Match*Star.]

A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, Harry, what's your problem?" Harry answered, "I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd grade too!" Ms. Brooks had had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office. While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was.

The principal told Ms Brooks he would give the boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the 1st grade and behave. She agreed. Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test. Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
Harry: "9".
Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"
Harry: "36".

And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader should know.The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her,"I think Harry can go to the 3rd grade." Ms. Brooks says to the principal, "Let me ask himsome questions." The principal and Harry both agreed. Ms. Brooks asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?" Harry, after a moment: "Legs." Ms. Brooks: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?" The principal wondered, why would she ask such a question! Harry replied: "Pockets." Ms. Brooks: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?"
Harry: "Pants"
Ms. Brooks: What's starts with a C, ends with! a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin, whitish liquid?
Harry: "Coconut."

The principal sat forward with his mouth hanging open. Ms. Brooks: "What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?" The principal's eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the answer.

Harry: "Bubble gum"

Ms. Brooks: "What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?" Harry: "Shake hands." The principal was trembling.
Ms. Brooks: "What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of heat and excitement?"

Harry: "Firetruck"

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, "Put Harry in the fifth-grade, I got the last even questions wrong......

[DannyTravis]

Was hat Windows mit U-Booten gemeinsam?

Kaum macht man ein Fenster auf, fangen die Probleme an.

[Obilee]

Why guys are so cool...

1. Phone Conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
2. You know stuff about tanks.
3. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
4. You can open all your own jars.
5. Dry cleaners and hair cutters don't rob you blind.
6. You can go to the bathroom without a support group.
7. You don't have to learn to spell a new last name.
8. You can leave the motel bed unmade.
9. You can kill your own food.
10. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
11. Wedding plans take care of themselves.
12. If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.
13. Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack.
14. If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.
15. Everything on your face stays its original color.
16. You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.
17. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
18. You don't have to clean your apartment if the meter reader is coming.
19. Car mechanics tell you the truth.
20. You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking: "He must be mad at me."
21. Same work...more pay.
22. Gray hair and wrinkles only add character.
23. Wedding dress - $2,000. Tuxedo rental - 75 bucks.
24. You don't mooch off other's desserts.
25. You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift.
26. If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends.
27. Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with. "So, notice anything different?"
28. You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.
29. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
30. You almost never have strap problems in public.
31. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
32. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
33. You don't have to shave below your neck.
34. At least a few belches are expected and tolerated.
35. Your belly usually hides your big hips.
36. One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
37. You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife.
38. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
39. Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in 45 minutes.