Today, I met a really attractive guy outside of a club. We came back to my apartment and had ***. Afterward, we both fell asleep. I woke up and found 20 dollars on my nightstand that wasn't there before. He thought I was a prostitute, and apparently a cheap one. FML
Today, me and my girlfriend went to the club. And the song "Single Ladies" by Beyonce came on; the DJ came on the mic and said "Single ladies raise your hands!" My girlfriend raise her hand. FML
Quote:
Today, I was sitting in class and I fell asleep during the lesson. I was wearing sweatpants and had an erection. My teacher came up to me and grabbed my *****. She thought it was my phone. FML
Today, for my girlfriend's birthday, I got her an external hard drive and my grandmother's engagement ring. When she opened both boxes, I took her hand and looked deep in her eyes and told her to pick whichever she wanted. She took the external hard drive, even though she already has one. FML
Today, I was arrested because my 6 year old son called the police saying that I was hitting my wife and that she was crying. My wife and I were having ***. FML
Mal ein Witz für euch :
Gehen 2 Pädophile an einer Schule vorbei
sagt der eien zum adneren:"Schau mal , den hatte ich gestern."
Sagt der adnere:" Wie deine haben schon Zähne?"
Noch einer :
Telefoniertt Freund A mit Freund B
sagt Freund A:"Du ich muss dir was sagen , es ist aber peinlich".
sagt Freund B:" komm sag es."
sagt Freund A:"Ich habe Durchfall seit 7 uhr"
sagt Freund B:" Musst dir doch nicht peinlich sein hat jeder mal"
sagt Freund A:" Das Porblem ist , bin erst um 8 uhr aufgestanden"
