How does every German joke start?
By looking over your shoulder.
What is so ironic about Atheists?
They're always talking about God.
Why can't atheists solve exponential equations?
Because they don't believe in higher powers.
Why did the Atheist cross the road?
He thought there might be a street on the other side, but he wouldn't believe it until he tested his hypothesis.
How many atheists does it take to change a light bulb?
Two. One to actually change the bulb, and the other to film it so fundamentalists won't claim that god did it.
A young girl comes home from a date looking rather sad.
Her mother asks her what's wrong.
She says, "Bill proposed to me an hour ago."
Her mother asks, "Why are you so sad then?"
The girl replies, "Because he also told me he was an atheist. Mom, he doesn't even believe there's a hell."
Her mother says, "Marry him anyway. Between the two of us, we'll show him how wrong he is."
An atheist was rowing at the lake, when suddenly the Loch Ness monster attacked and grabbed him from his boat. He panicked and shouted "God help me!", and suddenly, the monster and everything around him just stopped. A voice from the heavens boomed "You say you dont believe in me, but now you are asking for my help?" The atheist looked up and said: Well, ten seconds ago I didnt believe in the Loch Ness Monster either!
