Tried changing an extra pair of glasses into a pet. I couldn't unequip the pet so starting a match of course crashed the game. Figuring I'd just have to live without a cute Ophelia, I started the game back up to make adjustments and...
I seem to have confused the server or something. Well, lesson learned.
Oh, also, I'm having the same bug as many others where the game crashes after joining a match. The suggested work arounds aren't working; this simply needs to be fixed by the developer.