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Leagoe of Legends Story

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Leagoe of Legends Story

Pantheon: hey Yi, whats up?

Yi: nothin' much man, just chillin, but hey, have you seen Shen, he owes me like two hundred-

Pantheon: You know what'd be awesome? To be Rammus.

Yi: I...I don't follow you...

Pantheon: He gets all the girls man!

Yi: uhh...I've met a lot of girls, and not one of them has ever said they found Rammus attractive.

Pantheon: no the armadillo chicks, apparently he's like a *** icon to them.

Yi:, I wonder how he does it?

Pantheon: well the way I see it, he has two things I don't.

Yi: is that right....

Pantheon: yeah, firstly, he has badass spikes.

Yi: uhuh...

Pantheon: secondly, he always says "ok"!

Yi: right, so you think that makes his attractive to women huh?

Pantheon: Yeah, and now I'm gunna test it!

Yi: oh please don't...

Pantheon: hey akali!

Akali: what?

Pantheon: ok

Akali: uhh...uhuh...

Pantheon: oh man...she's totally gunna want to sleep with me now.

Yi: Ya think so?

Pantheon: yeah...but you know what would raise my chances? I need to get some spikes!

Yi: have you seen shen?Pantheon: man...I'm gunna put spikes on my spear, then I'll look really badass!

Yi: okay...yeah...bye then...

Pantheon: cya! Now for the head spikes...
Neonir"Nasus gets all the Girls!"

Nasus get's all the girls!

Pantheon: hey Yi, whats up?

Yi: Uhh, not much, Shen's disappeared and so I've decided I'll check with kennen later.

Pantheon: You know what'd be awesome? To be Nasus.

Yi: Oh god...

Pantheon: He gets all the girls man!

Yi: You know what? I think I'm just going to start ignoring you...

Pantheon: I dunno what it is, but the chicks are climbing over each other to get to him!

Yi: yeah, great, whatever, I have to go.

Pantheon: well the way I see it, he has two things I don't.

Yi: I'm leaving...

Pantheon: yeah, firstly, he's a dog.

Yi: goodbye.

Pantheon: secondly, he has that voice.

Yi: *walks away*

Pantheon: Okay, time to test it!

Pantheon: hey akali!

Akali: what?

Pantheon: *in an attempt at nasus' voice* woof woof.

Akali: dude, you do realize I find you repulsive right?

Pantheon: Sure ya do! *runs up to yi* oh man, now she's playing hard to get, this Nasus thing really works!

Yi: You know, maybe if you...oh I don't know...acted sane she might actually find you less repulsive.

Pantheon: You know what else might work? I need to get a wing man...wheres mundo when you need him?

Yi: you know, that's probably the worst thing you could possibly do.

Pantheon: no, the worst thing I could do is this *throws his spear at akali, hitting her in the leg*

Akali: AHK! the heck was that!?

Pantheon: see?

Yi: okay...yeah...bye then...

Pantheon: Now...if I recall mundo was at the lair...crud...they wont let me in there anymore...not after the baking incident...
Enmiand Taric gets all the girls!

Pantheon: Sup Yi, my man.

Yi: Pant, for hell's sake, shouldn't you be on your lane?

Pantheon: Nah, it's all good dude, I have my teammate covering it for me.

Yi: Oh yeah? And who is over there?

Pantheon: Soraka.

Yi: you must be ****ting me...

Pantheon: Uh-oh.

Yi: Look man, we get paid for every round we win, you know that, right?

Pantheon: Sure do, I spend all my League money on hoes so Rammus doesn't get all the girls.

Yi: Again with that... Well, you see, I need to pay money to my three wifes, so if you don't mind, could you please go back to your....

Pantheon: Hey, I noticed that Taric's real famous with the chicks.

Yi: Are you even listening?

Pantheon: Yeah, all that gel and bling-bling he carries around. He thinks he's the big **** that dude.

Yi: Careful!! I saw Garen over there a second ago.

Pantheon: Garen? Nah, that dude is all muscles, but no head. Chicks don digg that. You gotta be on your game if you want to...


Pantheon: OOooooof, ****, god save flash, ahahaha, I hope it never goes away. Anyway, about Taric...

Yi: Did you hear that?

Pantheon: What? That scream?

Yi: Soraka's dead!!

Pantheon: And Taric got her!!

Yi: Go over there already, you moron!!

Pantheon: Sure thing! I need to get the addres of the guy who does his jewelry. BRB, Whoop!

Yi: I hate my life.
Mechalibur Taric Gets all the Guys
Taric Gets all the Guys.

(Ezreal is having fun at The Dungeon and spots Vladimir)

Ez: Hey, Vlad, what's up?

Vlad: *nods* Ezreal.

Ez: You know what'd be awesome? To be Taric.

Vlad: Come again?

Ez: I mean he's always with a new guy each week. He has no problem picking them up! I wonder why that is...

Vlad: ...

Ez: Vlad?

Vlad: Wait, I'm trying to think of a blood-related response.

Ez: Um...

Vlad: It's probably because he's such A Positive person. Just my type.

Ez: Vladmir, I hate you so much.

Vlad: Noted.

Ez: But didn't you used to go out with him for a while? What does he have that I don't?

Vlad: I...

Ez: I mean he never shuts the hell up!

Vlad: Well, he...

Ez: And that armor is just ridiculous! Also, he...

Vlad: He has a really, really big mallet.

Ez: What does tha...

*3 second silence*

Ez: Oh.
Neonir"Tryndamere doesn't get girls"
Tryndamere: Hey ashe...(whispered) do I have to?

Pantheon: yeah it really works, Rammus does it all the time!

Tryndamere: fine, fine...hey ashe...okay?

Ashe: what?

Tryndamere: uh, nevermind...

Pantheon: I dunno man...maybe it just doesn't work for some people...wait a minute...say it again!

Tryndamere: Okay?

Pantheon: ahh, that's what it is.

Tryndamere: what?

Pantheon: you said Okay, it's pronounced ok.

Tryndamere: Uhh...yeah sure whatever know what, I think I'll just go buy her some flowers, she likes flowers.

Pantheon: your loss, see ya man...Hey akali!

Akali: Don't talk to me!

Pantheon: ok
Neonir "tryndamere doesn't get girls" Pt 2
Pantheon: so...she dumped you?

Tryndamere: yeah, she said I wasn't supportive enough...I'm a carry, I don't support!

Pantheon: let it all out man...

Tryndamere: okay...I'm cool, I'm cool...

Pantheon: it's okay man, maybe you can find someone more suited to your play style. Anyway, the thing you had going with Ashe was far to political, there wasn't any real love.

Tryndamere: You think so?

Pantheon: And hell, I dunno about you, but I found her voice kinda annoying...

Tryndamere: well...she's still a nice girl and she let me down nice and easy...I dunno...

Pantheon: know what you could use? some badass spikes!

Tryndamere: wha- YEAH!
Neonir"Urgot get's all the girls!"

Urgot gets all the girls!

Pantheon: Yi, Yi guess what!?

Yi: I'm not meant to talk to you anymore man.

Pantheon: why not?

Yi: Akali says "anyone talking to pantheon gets stabbed, at least until I cut him in half."

Pantheon: heh, I guess she doesn't want anyone flirting with me, getting a little bit protective...I think I might break up with her.

Yi: dude, your not going out. She hates you. and anyway, she's got a thing going with Shen.

Pantheon: ...hahahaha! your hilarious dude, hey by the way did he ever end up paying you back?

Yi: yeah, he gave it to urgot to give to me... then urgot lost it...

Pantheon: you know who else it would be epic to be? URGOT!

Yi: uhh...I seriously don't know why you think that.

Pantheon: He gets all the girls!

Yi: No. no he doesn't. He is the one person I know who girls find more repulsive, than you. He's not even a decent champion, the only reason he hasn't been fired is because he is blackmailing the head summoner!

Pantheon: (cracking up) dude, you should be a comedian or something...

Yi: no, I'm serious, he's never had a girlfriend, not even when he had his body.

Pantheon: that's cause his old body was terrible, now he has those...leg things and cool scars

Yi: Those are the worst bits!

Pantheon: Nah, I'm gunna try to get some! wait, I'll ask Akali first, she knows what she likes.

Yi: Dude, I think if you talk to her again she's going to actually kill you-

Pantheon: Hey! Akali!

Akali: *throws her Kama at him, embedding itself in his hemet.*

Pantheon: ow... I guess it's that time of the month eh?

Yi: I said, I'm not meant to be talking to you *narrowly avoids the other kama, thrown at his head*

Pantheon: it's cool man, see ya tomorrow!

Pantheon: (to himself almost silently) I will not stop seeking your heart Akali...
GoldMalice Twisted Fate gets all the girls!

Twisted Fate gets all the girls!

Pantheon: Yi! Wassup!

Yi: Ugh, what do you want this time?

Pantheon: So I've been thinking, may-

Yi: No. No, no no, stop right there. You're gonna tell me about some hairbrained scheme to get Akali to want you, probably involving the duplication of another one of our fellow champion's qualities.

Pantheon: Bro! I'm so hurt right now, I can't believe you thought I would do something like that.

Yi: I wonder...

Pantheon: Anyway, I was wondering if you wanted to help me run a casino.

Yi: A casino? Where did you get that idea?

Pantheon: From Twisted Fate! He gets all the girls man!

*Yi storms off*

Pantheon:Oh alright, you're busy, I'll ask you when you get back!

Ok, here is where the main series starts, mostly a group effort by Enmiand and Neonir


Akali: (Running and waving her hand in the air) Sheeeeeen-sempaaaaaiiiiiii!!!

Shen: Oh, it's you Akali, how are you?

Akali: (Blushing) Fine sempai, just fine.

Shen: I told you not to call me "sempai"... I don't even know what that means...

Akali: It's a word to show respect towards my elders.

Shen: Oh, elders... I see.

Akali: (troubled) No, no! I didn't mean it like that! Not that you're old or something, its... I mean.

Shen: It's ok kiddo, no worries.

Akali: (Looking into the ground) So.. well, actually I came here to ask you something.

Shen: Hmm? What's that?

Akali: (Red face again, not raising her eyes) It's just that... Well, Ezreal told me about this club he tried last week with that foreign girl, you know, Mrs.-I-don't-care-about-you...

Shen: Are you referring to Katarina, the new girl?

Akali: Yeah! That's the one. Well, apparently, Ez has a big crush on her (beats me why), and he asked her to go out. She said "only if it's dark and loud", so they went to this club called "The Lair" and had a blast, or so said Ez.

Shen: Uhm, not that I don't like to chat with you Akali, but I gotta head over the post office in about a second...

Akali: Oh! This won't take much time, I promise! The thing is, Ez asked me to go with them, but...uhm, well, I'm not 21 yet so...

Shen: Is Ezreal 21?

Akali: Nah, but he always manages to get inside because of his kawaii look. I on the other hand, am screwed, unless....

Shen: Don't say anything more.

Akali: (Hopes up, all smiley) Really?

Shen: Yes, Ill tell Mundo to go with you. For some reason, he goes where he pleases, so I bet that if you go with him, you'll get in.

Akali: Bu.. bu... Isn't Dr. Mundo busy all the time? You know, being a doctor and all that? Maybe you could...

Shen: Nah, he owes me for that time one of my taunts saved his sorry ass. He may be a bit reckless and can't sing really well, but he'll do a perfect chaperone for you.

Akali: (Dissapointed) Chaperonne, I see...

Shen: Well, if that's all, I gotta go now kiddo. See you on tuesday, don't forget you're in the rotation this week.

- Shen walks away -

Akali: (Heartbroken) Oh, Shen-sempai, how can you be so blind?


Akali: (Answering her cel) Hello?

Ezreal: Sup biotch, here's your sexy friend Ezreal reporting.

Akali: Oh, hi Ez.

Ezreal: Uhm? What is it? You sound quite bummed.

Akali: Yeah... It's just... I ran into Shen-sempai the other day. I was trying to get him to go with us to "The Lair", you know? I even told him you were going out with that freaky Kat chick.

Ezreal: (Yuck face) Katarina? Eeew, give me a break. Even if I was straight I wouldn't go for that weirdo. Also, why did you tell him that? Everyone knows I'm gay.

Akali: (Dreamy) Not my Shen-sempai. He lives in another world, a world of pure, nice, fluffy feelings, where he doesn't get involved in any drama at all.

Ezreal: Giiiirl, you're gay-ing up this conversation.

Akali: (Laughs) Ahaha, sorry.

Ezreal: By the way, there's something I wanted to talk to you about.

Akali: What is it?

Ezreal: Its Pantheon, you know him?

Akali: Sure, that weird shirtless dude who likes to jump on people, right?

Ezreal: Yeah.

Akali: What about him?

Ezreal: I think he has a major crush on you.

Akali: (Surprised) What?! And how do you know that!?

Ezreal: Well, it just so happens he's friends with that Brolaf guy. You know, homophobic, reata rded, axe wielding, beer drinking ass-hole?

Akali: Ah-á.

Ezreal: I overheard them two speaking the other night on the phone, and Brolaf was like: "Yeaaaah, dude, you should totally nail that bit-ch, she's asking for it".

Akali: How do you know they were talking about me? They could have been talking about Morgana, you know, she's a whor e.

Ezreal: Uh-uh girl, I know I'm right because I heard Brolaf say loud and clear: "She could shadow dash my dic-k any day now".

Akali: Eeewww, those guys are grose. I don't want anything to do with those perverts.

Ezreal: That's what I tought. Im so sorry to tell you I've got some bad news for you then.

Akali: What is it?

Ezreal: You're scheduled to be in a match tomorrow with Pantheon. If I heard correctly, he's going to try and ask you out on a date of sorts.

Akali: Are you for real?!

Ezreal: And it gets better. Shen will be on blue team.

Akali: (Shocked) WHAT?! Not only do I have to be on the same team with that pric-k, but I also have to be on purple side and let Shen-sempai watch me being asked out by that muscle head?! That'll totally destroy my chances with him!

Ezreal: (Giggles) Girl, you're in a lot of trouble.

Akali: Shut up. I don't know what to do. And how do you know all this, by the way? Doesn't that Brolaf guy punch you in the face every time he sees you?

Ezreal: (Mysterious) Let's just say he's had a change of heart.

Akali: You're a slu t, you know?

Ezreal: I know. Well, gotta go now, I sense some viking steps on the stairs, ahahaha. Text me tomorrow and fill me in, I wanna know everything.

Akali: Scram, Gossip Girl.

Ezreal: Later, bitc-hie!

- Summoner's Rift, at the purple Nexus, the day of the match-

Akali: (Uncomfortable) So, I'm done shopping. Want to go with me Warwick?

Warwick: Sorry, Udyr's jungling, so I might as well.

Singed: I can handle the solo lane.

Warwick: Super, I'll visit from time to time.

Akali: Uhm... Veigar...?

Veigar: Uh-oh, this balck mage is going mid.

Akali: *sigh*

Pantheon: I guess it's just you and me...

Akali: (Annoyed) Yeah, yeah, whatever. I'll be going ahead.

Pantheon: Wait for me.

- Akali gets some boots and walks past Pantheon withut looking back. Pantheon hurries and tries to catch her. Eventually they end up in the brush, silently waiting for someone to appear. The atmosphere is tense -

Pantheon: (Breaking the ice) So, it's been a while since we laned together...

Akali: (Without looking at him) Shhh.

Pantheon: How have you been? We haven't really talked that muhc lately...

Akali: Shut up already, they might discover us.

Pantheon: It's ok, they're probably tower hugging.

Akali: Just in case, keep it down.

Pantheon: I'm just trying to get to know you, that's all.

Akali: Now's not the time.

- Minions have spawned -

Pantheon: (Serious) Look Akali, I wanted to ask you something.

Akali: (Aware of what's gonna happen) Pantheon, please save it, I'm not in the mood.

Pantheon: Not in the mood? I just want to know if you....

- Out of nowhere, Shen pops in in the brush, but doesn't attack -

Pantheon: ... would go out with me? I really like you.

- Akali sees Shen and freezes. He stands there for a couple of seconds, looking at her, and then, without saying anything, goes back to his turret -

Pantheon: What's with Shen? No taunt, no Ki strike. Looks like somebody had a bit of a drink before coming into the field, ah? (laughs).

- Minions have spawned-

Akali: (Furious) SHUT THE FUC K UP!

Pantheon: (Paralyzed and confused).

Akali: Listen to me, and listen well you spartan wannabe. I don't like you, I never have and I never will. You disgust me, you and your frat buddies who think of women like objects they can manage and borrow. You're a lousy excuse of a man who thinks wearing a helmet and a shield it's perfect for picking up girls. I could care less about your perfect abs or your long spear: WEAR SOME DAM N CLOTHES ALREADY, do you hear me? What kind of armor is that? Helmet, boots, a steel speedo and a shield? Have you ever heard of a plate chest? Seriously, don't talk to me no more. I don't want to hear your voice for the rest of the match, is that clear, you stupid moron?

Pantheon: (Almost in a whisper) Crystal.

Akali: Good. Now let's win this thing

- After that, Pantheon died in a stupid manner again and again. Eventually the game was lost and the summoners on the purple side surrendered the moment the 25th minute came along. On the way out of the field, Akali tried to catch Shen to explain herself to him, but he was nowhere to be found. Pantheon also had dissapeared -
Neonir “Grand skyfall”
Grand Skyfall

(another match had begun - It was Akali, Yi, Tryndamere, Kayle and Pantheon against Taric, Teemo, Sivir, Sona and Garen. Akali and Yi had been 5 man ganked)

Yi: holy ****! were so freaking screwed!

Akali:Just keep running, if we can get back to the tower we'll be safe!

Yi: why is pantheon not here!? I could have sworn I asked him to help push...

Akali: uhh...I kinda yelled at him...


Akali: I yelled at him, man! he asked me out!

Yi: then you let him down gently, he already gets enough **** from brolaf!

Akali: what?

Yi: akali, he by far is the most sensitive guy in the league, by yelling at him you may as well have stabbed him in his very soul!

Akali: Him, sensitive, don't make me laugh! do have any idea about the sorts of things he does?

Yi: you have no idea...

Akali: he threw a spear at me!

Yi: that was a misunderstanding, trust me...and partly my fault...

Akali: it doesn't matter lets just run.

Yi: good plan let's just hope we don't-

*steps on a mushroom*

Akali: crud...

Yi: so are we gunna go down fighting?

Akali: hardly any reason not to...

Yi: *gets hit by dazzle* ooof...duuuhey...

Akali: fantastic...

Teemo: *running up* alright, are you going to make us do this the hard way?

Akali: Well that was one idea.

Yi: *No longer dazed* Pantheon, where are you...

Teemo: Alright. *raises his pipe*

Akali: *spots a shadow growing over teemo* uhh...

Teemo: what? *spots the shadow* oh...

Pantheon: MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNN DROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!!!!!!!! *falling from the sky in a grand fasion, crushing teemo*

Yi: Pantheon! my man!

Pantheon: *ducking behind his shield, releasing a flurry of blows at the rest of the team* Run, NOW!

Akali: *runs not looking back*

Yi: dude, I'm not going to leave you here!

Pantheon: *impaling sivir with his spear* I didn't come this far just so we could die together!

Yi: ...thanks man. *runs*

Pantheon: lets see what you guys have got! *stuns Garen with his shield*

Yi: *having caught up with Akali* see, that's the pantheon I was talking about!

Akali: yeah... He did save us...but...oh I don't know...*hears in the distance pantheon shouts out "Triple kill suckas!" then screams*

Yi:*looks solem* he went down the way he would have wanted...scoring a triple kill...

Akali: He died for us...

Yi: yes, yes he did...
Neonir pantheon gets all the girls
Pantheon gets all the Girls!

(Akali and Yi walk into the after game lobby, to find Sona, Kayle, Sivir and Leblanc surrounding Pantheon.)

Akali: what the...

Yi: Yo Pantheon, what's happening man?

Pantheon: just chatting man.

Kayle: did you know he took on their whole team at the same time, and still managed killed three of them?

Garen: *strolling up from another section of the lobby* yeah, this guy even brought me down, and I was wearing like six capes!

Sivir: It's true I was there!

Kayle: it's just a shame Sona had her ultimate ready at the end there...

Sona: *plays a tune of apology*

Pantheon: it's okay, I know you didn't have a choice, you did well to kill me, it meant I didn't have to kill you.

Sona: *plays a song of happiness*

Pantheon: so Yi, looks like all the work i did finally payed off huh? *winking* and I can tell you, these badass spikes work wonders when stabbing, really gets some shredding action!

Pantheon: (to Akali) sorry about before...

Akali:'s fine...I..I have to go...

Pantheon: *looking a little bit sad that Akali left* You know what's awesome? being me.

Yi: dang straight! See ya man. I'm going to go find Irelia. *walks off*

Pantheon:*secretly watching Akali leave* now which one of you girls want's to help me with my head spikes?

- Garen Avne. in Demacia, 4:35 PM. Akali is at the dry cleaner's getting her yellow suit washed off -

Akali: (Looking at the outfit) Dam n this bloodstains, they are hard to get rid off.

Ezreal: (Comes in blasting trough the door) Here you are! I've been looking all over for you.

Akali: Whooo, take it easy, breath, breath, what's the deal?

Ezreal: (Panting) It's.... it's about Panth....Ooof, I need to start working out again.... It's about Pantheon.

Akali: (Not interested) Yeah, what about him?

Ezreal: I heard from Yi you blew him off.

Akali: I did.

Ezreal: Why?

Akali: Are you kidding me? He's an ass! And he also decided to ask me out in the middle of a fight and with Shen-sempai there! Stupid.

Ezreal: But Yi said...

Akali: (Interrupting) I know what he said, I talked to him too.

Ezreal: Then you know Pantheon's heartbroken.

Akali: He brought it up upon himself, not my fault.

Ezreal: (Silence).

Akali: What?

Ezreal: You're being a real bitc h, you know that?

Akali: What is it with you? I told you I don't want anything to do with Pantheon. When did you became his bitc h anyway?

Ezreal: Im not his bitc h, I just dont like seeing people getting hurt.

Akali: (Confronting him) I know what's this about. It's your new boyfriend, isn't it?

Ezreal: What?

Akali: Yeah, yeah. Now that your fuc king Brolaf, you feel the need to fit as "one of the guys", isn't it? And what better way to do it than siding against me, you backstabber.

Ezreal: Wha,.. that really hurts Akali, you're reaaaaally crossing a line with that comment.

Akali: Yeah, yeah? Well, I don't care, you.... BAKA!

Ezreal: Ok, if you want it that way...

- Beofre Ezreal finishes his sentence, Brolaf appears, slams the door and looks over to Akali. As soon as he spots her, he rushes over there and confronts her -

Brolaf: Hey you!

Akali: (A bit intimidated, holds onto her outfit) Wha...

Brolaf: (Interruptin and pointing at her) What do you think you're doing?

Akali: Laundry?

Brolaf: HA-HA, real funny. Now you listen to me, you bimbo bitc h, I don't like chicks messing with my bros, is that all right?

Akali: your... bros?

Brolaf: Panth, I don't know what you did to him, but he's not himself anymore. He used to be all macho, a real bro, jumping on people and then laughing, and now he's a wuss, locked in his room all day and all night, playing that stupid HoF game and drinking ice tea.

Akali: HoN

Brolaf: What?

Akali: You mean HoN, it's an internet game based on DoTA...

Brolaf: I don't care what it is, it's a piece of shi t and it exists because of you, so I want you to enmend this.

Akali: Do you even know the meaning of that word?

Brolaf: (Serious and menacing) Stop being condescendent on me, bitc h. Im a sophomore in electronic engineering and Im doing well this semester, so fuc k off. If you don't make it right with Panth, Ill make sure you regret it. Big time, ya' hear me?

Akali: Aye aye captain.

Brolaf: (Heading out) Stupid bitc h.... (looking at Ezreal who remained silent the whole time) And what ae you looking at faggo t? Is there something on my face or you want to give me a kiss?

Ezreal: No...I...

- Brolaf pushes Ezreal aside and walks away. Akali looks at Ezreal with a question mark on her head -

Ezreal: It's complicated, ok? And you should listen to him. What you did was wrong, and until this is fixed I don't want to hear of you again. Later.

- Ezreal exits the place. Akali remains there a few minutes, folding her underwear, with a concerned look. After a while, a couple of tears roll down her cheek.
Neonir Gragas gets all the girls!

You asked for more, well here you are!

Gragas gets all the girls!

Pantheon: Hey Yi!

Yi: hi there, Guess what? I finally found Shen!

Pantheon: yeah, did he pay you back?

Yi: nah...he says that now, since he gave the money to urgot it's his job to pay me, even though he lost it...

Pantheon: but...isn't Urgot broke?

Yi: that's the problem.

Pantheon: bad luck hey, did ya hear about Gragas?

Yi: about him?

Pantheon: he got a five verse one pentakill!

Yi: that even possible?

Pantheon: well clearly...I wonder how he does'd be awesome to be him.

Yi: oh no...

Pantheon: he get's all the girls man!

Yi: wait...I thought you had all the girls!

Pantheon: yeah...I got sick of all the attention...

Yi: then why do you want to be him!?

Pantheon: I changed my mind, I want more attention!

Yi: dude...I find it hard to keep a straight face when I talk to you...

Pantheon: sure whatever, back to the important stuff. The way I see it, gragas has two things I don't.

Yi: lemme guess, the huge quantities of alcohol and the enormous gut?

Pantheon: what? no! He has a huge beard and a loin cloth!

Yi: oh god...I can see where this is going...firstly, You cant grow a beard, remember what happened when we tried?

Pantheon: yeah...they still won't let me back in that place...

Yi: and man, if you ever start wearing a loin cloth... I would have to kill you.

Pantheon: Actually...I think this skirt is bad enough...I don't really want to start wearing a loin cloth.

Yi: oh thank god...for a second there I thought...never mind...

Pantheon: but maybe I should take up drinking?

Yi: no.

Pantheon: just a-

Yi: No

Pantheon: hey! Wanna go to "The dungeon"?

Yi: I thought you were banned!

Pantheon: nah, that's the Lair, the dungeon is older, but just as good.

Yi: well, I'm out of fuel so...

Pantheon: it's cool, I can fly.

Yi: wait...what?!

Pantheon: *shoots up into the air and disappears into the distance.*

Yi: wow... always full of surprises...
Neonir In the Dungeon
In The Dungeon.

(at "the dungeon" Pantheon starts on a couple of beers, moping silently until)

Pantheon: *finishing off a mug* ohh man...I don't know what her problem is...

Singed: I've been a bartender here for a long time and I've never seen you looking like this man, usually after four drinks you've already started a bar fight or two.

Pantheon: it's just...

Singed: problems with the ladies?

Pantheon: yeah- how did you know?

Singed: it's always this way man, don't worry, you'll pull through.

Pantheon: Hmm...I thought so too, I thought that with all the's just...oh...nevermind...

Singed: It's okay man, I bet she doesn't even deserve you.

Pantheon: yeah...I can't help but think it was my fault...I just don't know what to do...

Singed: One thing you can't do man, is drown it with the drink.

Pantheon: Can't I?

Singed: there are two ways of doing it. The first: time heals all wounds.

Pantheon: and the second?

Singed: *slams his fist on the table* You can stop crying like a frightened cat, get out of this hell hole and do something about it!

Pantheon: *a little bit shocked* I...I...

Singed: Get out there man!

Pantheon: *Sculls a whole mug of beer* ALRIGHT!

Gangplank: Hey, that was mine!

Pantheon: *Smashes gangplank in the face*

Singed: THAT'S MY MAN!

Pantheon: *skyrockets through the roof and off into the distance*

Singed *looking at the hole in the roof* aww hell...he does that every freaking time...

Seskahin is offline  
Old 12/18/2010, 13:48   #2
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Neonir untitled
Pantheon has just crashed into Brolafs house)

Brolaf: what the- Bro! Bout time you crashed through my roof again, haven't seen ya in days!

Pantheon: Hey man, I'm looking for the Ez guy.

Brolaf: wait why? You're not going after that akali cow are you?

Pantheon: she's not a cow!

Brolaf: chill dude, Ezreals not here, by the way, do you think he'd like these shoes?

Pantheon: wait...what?

Brolaf: nevermind, I think he said something about shining armor, I dunno.

Pantheon: Ah he must be at the Shining's Armory, it's a cloths place.

Brolaf: your not leaving already are you?

Pantheon: I don't have a choice Bro, I've got a fire in me and if I don't go fast it might go out! And I can't let that happen!

Brolaf: Go get her bro! *throws him a Graggy Ice*

Pantheon: *Flies off again, creating another hole in the roof*
Neonir Ezreal could get all the girls!
Ezreal Could get all the girls!

(pantheon crashes through the roof of the cloths store ezreal was at, landing right in front of him)

Pantheon: I need to find Akali.

Ezreal: *covered in dust etc.* wha- I- You- Wha!?

Pantheon: I need to find Akali, now!

Ezreal: she, she...I, I don't know where she went. I haven't seen her since...since I talked to her at the Laundromat.

Pantheon: Dang...

Ezreal: are...are you okay man?

Pantheon: I don't know, I just want to find Akali.

Ezreal: your not mad are you, because if your going to hurt her, I'm going to have to stop you!

Pantheon: Hurt her? why would I do that?

Ezreal: uhh...because she rejected you, called you a wannabe spartan, and when you gave your life for her she didn't even thank you?

Pantheon: I deserved all that.

Ezreal: you didn't deserve any of that!

Pantheon: It doesn't matter! I just need to find her!

Ezreal: If I know Akali, which I do, she's probably at home sulking.

Pantheon: sulking? why?

Ezreal:...we got in a fight...then Brolaf came...

Pantheon: wait what?

Ezreal: Brolaf was angry about how she hurt you. So was I...

Pantheon: aww, thanks man.

Ezreal: (blushing) I just don't like seeing people get hurt.

Pantheon: man, I bet you could get all the girls. *winks*

Ezreal:*laughing* I bet I could.

Pantheon: I'm off brother, I've got a heart too seek! *Flies off once again, smashing another hole in the roof*

Ezreal: Goodbye Pantheon, and good luck


- Akali is in her room, all alone, in her jammies, listening to Radiohead while staring at the roof -

Akali: (Drifting away) Maybe Ez is right... Maybe I was too harsh on Pantheon... But, I like Shen-sempai, he's always so calm and peaceful. If there's something I don't need right now in my love life is another rage quitter like Keenen. I just mentioned getting serious and he ran away like a little girl... I'm done with that kind of men, I want something real.

- "Empire State of mine" starts playing on the cellphone. Akali picks it up -

Akali: (Still a bit drowzy) Hmmm... hello?

Shen: Akali?

Akali: (Completely awake all of a sudden) Sh---Shen-sempai! Wha--- where did you get this number?

Shen: Ezreal gave it to me. I think we should talk.

Akali: Ta... talk? Sure, I love to talk, I like to talk about konekos and kawaii stuff like Kog plushies, wich I happen to own, and...

Shen: (Interrupting) Is it ok if I stop by your place in a bit?

Akali: My... plac--- su-- sure, I'll have to clean up a little, haha (looks at her room, wich is a complete mess) but, its ok, come whenever you can.

Shen: I'll be there in about five minutes.

- Shen hangs up. As soon as he's off the phone, Akali starts a mad cleaning mission in her apartment. Panties fly from one spot to another, while she tries to put every dirty dish and empty ice cream box under her bed. In a matter of minutes, her room looks like a church, but she doesn't. She shadow rushes over to the bathroom, takes a shower with cold water and then brushes her hair while grunting and panting. 5 minutes go by and the doorbell rings. Shen is outside -

Akali: (Out of her mind nervous) Shen-sem--pai, okairi.

Shen: Okai..what?

Akali: It's "welcome home".

Shen: Oh... ok. Mind if I come in?

Akali: Please do.

- Shen crosses the door at the exact moment Akali spots a bra she left in the couch two nights ago. Quickly and silently she throws a kama at it that goes flying, bra included, by the window. Shen doesnt notice this and takes a seat -

Shen: Well kid, I think we need to have a little chat.

Akali: Su... sure. What about? Want some tea? I've got pretty much every type you can imagine.

Shen: I'm fine, please take a seat.

- Akali seats, constantly squishing her hands and shaking -

Shen: Ezreal told me about what happened with Pantheon.

Akali: (Shocked) He did!? Why.. why does he have to do that? Meddling in my life all the time... I hate him!

Shen: He does it because he's worried about you.

Akali: Still... I'm so embarrassed right now. I can't even look at you.

Shen: Akali, listen to me. you're a cute girl (tries to reach for her, and holds her hand) And I bet a lot of guys would love to go out with you, like Pantheon. He's a nice fellow. We've worked together several times, and he has saved me almost as many times as I have saved him. You should trust him.

Akali: (Blushing and babblering) Bu... bu... but Shen-sempai... I, I, I....

Shen: Hm?

Akali: (Closes her eyes and shouts) I.....I...... A-I-S-H-I-T-E-R-U!

Shen: Kid, for the eleventh time, I don't know japanese. I'm not that kind of ninja. Whatever you're trying to say, just say it already.

Akali: (Tries to find the words, but chokes on them. She can't speak, she's too nervous and stressed).

- They remain silent for a momento. After a while, the doorbell rings again. Shen looks at her, and then at the door -

Shen: Are you gonna get that?

Akali: (Like waking up) Ye... YEAH!

- Akali jumps off the couch and goes over the door. On the way over there, she speaks to herself -

Akali: Why can't I say it?! Why do I have to be so incredibly stupid. Maybe... maybe... (Realizing something) Oh boy, oh boy, did I actually tell him I like to talk about "plushies"!? Christ, he must think I arrange playing dates with Annie! I'm such a lost cause.

- Opens the door. Pantheon is there -

Pantheon: Akali...

Akali: (Surprised) Pant... Pantheon, wha--- what are you doing here?

Pantheon: I came here to apologize. I think what I did was completely rude of me, asking you out in the middle of a battle. That's not me, you know, it's just... I was so eager to see you and showing you I'm not...

Akali: (Whispering) Pantheon, I appreciate it, but now's not the best time.

Pantheon: Why? (Confused) Am I interrupting something?

Akali: Not "something", no, not that, it's just...

- Shen's voice rises over while he's talking on his phone -

Shen: Sure, Mr. Elementz, I'll meet you there. Purple Nexus, five o clock. No problem, I'll bring my yellow jacket.

- Pantheon looks over Akali's head and sees Shen talking by the window.-

Pantheon: Oh, I see... (He realizes the truth) So this is why you didn't want to go out with me...

Akali: No, no! I mean... It's not what you're thinking. There's nothing between Shen-sempai and me.

Pantheon: That's why you froze in the brush the other day, I bet.

Akali: Wellll, yeah, kinda.... but it's nothing special... I mean....

Pantheon: Maybe you're not for him, but... (he doesn't speak for a second)... you think special of him, don't you?

Akali: (Silent, and blushing)

Pantheon: I see... You just haven't told him yet.

Akali: I.... I haven't....

Pantheon: I wasn't expecting this. Still, its nice to finally have something clear in this whole mess...

Akali: Pantheon, look, I'm sorry....

Pantheon: Save it. I'll be leaving you now. Forever. Good luck in your life, I really hope you can achieve happiness.

- Pantheon walks away really slowly, but doesn't look back. Akali remains at the door and watches him leave, feeling guilty and sorry at the same time. Eventually, she closes the door and goes back to Shen -

Shen: Everything all right?

Akali: Yeah... yeah. I don't know.

Shen: Look kiddo, it looks like you've got a lot on your hands right now. You have to be able to separate your problems, fix what's wrong and find truth inside of you. Only then you'll be alright, that much I can tell you.

Akali: Thank you Shen-sempai... So, you came here because Ezreal told you to do so?

Shen: No, I came here because he told me you were having a bad week, ever since that whole incident with Pantheon happened. I worry about you.

Akali: (Hopes up) You do?

Shen: Sure, you're like a little sister to me. How could I rest at ease knowing you're having a rough time and do nothing about it? If you want, I can go and talk to Pantheon, tell him you're sorry. Who knows, maybe you could go on a date eventually, uh? I tell you, he's a good guy.

Akali: (Really and deeply dissapointed) I'm sure he is. But don't, please. Don't talk to him... I'll ... I'll make this all right, one way or another, believe me.

Shen: I do believe it (smiles).

- For a few seconds they both stay silent -

Akali: Uhm, Shen-sempai?

Shen: Yeah?

Akali: There is something I wanted to ask you...

Shen: Ask away.

Akali: Would there ever be a chance of us two...?

- Shen's phone starts ringing -

Shen: Ups, sorry, is the Mrs. Give me a sec, would ya? (Answers) Yeah, yeah, hi baby. No, nothing special, I'm just over here, at Akali's, but I'll be stoping by your place on the way back. Sure, sure, I'll pick up the sushi. Loves and kisses, see ya. (Hangs up) Ok, sorry about that. What were you saying?

- Akali can't speak. Her heart is pounding like crazy and she's feeling more and more dizzy. A lot of questions go aroun in her head. Who was there on the phone? Are they friends? More than that? Is Shen married? After a while, she recovers herself -

Akali: (Shaking her head) Na... nothing, nothing really. I don't want to hold you no more, please.

Shen: Okay then, think about what I told you.

Akali: Ill do.

Shen: Great, well, Ill talk to you later. See you when I see you.

- Shen leaves and Akali stays there, by the door, seeing him dissapear in the fog. Little rain drops start pouring, announcing a big storm. She closes the door and sits by it. She cries. A lot. The stom unleashes itself over Akali's roof -

Neonir Shen Get’s all the girls!
Shen Get's all the girls!

(pantheon had decided he would walk to his next destination, he needed some time to think)

Pantheon: So wait, you to are together?

Shen: yeah, have been for quite some time.

Pantheon: So your not with Akali? You do realize she thinks the world of you don't you?

Shen: Huh?

Pantheon: oh man, you really are oblivious...

Shen: I don't know what your talking about, and I don't really know half the things that have gone on between you and her, but I do know shes a nice girl and certainly doesn't need another Kennen, so you be good to her okay.

Pantheon: another kennen...? nevermind that's not really important, I-

Shen: I'll tell you what I told her, you've got a lot on your hands right now. You have to be able to separate your problems, fix what's wrong and find truth inside of you. Only then you'll be alright, that much I can tell you.

Pantheon: you do realise stuff like that isn't that helpful to a guy like me?

Shen: just try it out, actually think about the words, then act upon them. You'll know what to do.

Pantheon: ok, thanks Shen, tell Ashe I said Hi.

Shen: Can do.

Pantheon: hey, do you know where the nearest florist is?

Shen: no...why?

Pantheon: I need to find a Japanese Lotus.

Shen: Why?

Pantheon: Those are her favorite.

Shen: how do you know?

Pantheon: Well, two reasons, one: I just think she would, and two, because there's one on the ground here with a note addressed to you.

Shen: *leans over, picks up the note and reads it* (a soft smile grows on his face) That girl...

Pantheon: What's on it, wait, it's probably not any of my business.

Shen: lets just say, That girl is one in a million... and I think she's beginning to understand this crazy world...

Pantheon: I already knew that... I need to go quick.

Shen: Why?

Pantheon: Well it takes a long time to fly to Ionia now doesn't it?

Shen: why are you going to Ionia?

Pantheon: You see the way I see it, there's a reason she likes those Lilly's, and I think I know what it is.

Shen: Good luck.

Pantheon: And to you too. *shoots off into the sky*
Neonir Amumu gets all the girls!
Amumu gets all the girls!

(as pantheon finally reached the Ionian Isle he made his way to, what he believed was Akali's old home.)

Pantheon: *crashing down into what seemed to be a sort of zen garden* soooooorrrrrrry!

(muffled voice): ow...could you get off me? *the voice was quivering, as if on the verge of tears*

Pantheon: ooh, sorry! I thought it was a clear landing space! *get's up* hey wait...Amumu? what are you doing here?

Amumu: I like to come here...for inner peace... The monks said they might be able to help me...

Pantheon:'re a wreck dude...

Amumu: it's always the why are you here? or did you just want to land on my head?

Pantheon: I actually came for a Japanese lotus, are there any here?

Amumu: I think so... *walks deeper into the garden*

Pantheon: *following him* so, amumu,have you ever had a girlfriend?

Amumu: (caught slightly off guard) Uhh, does it matter?

Pantheon: well...I'm trying to get Akali to like me...and I was wondering if a sensitive guy like you could give me some tips... You seem to get a fair bit of attention from the ladies...

Amumu: They mostly fuss because they want to cheer me up... I really don't know why...

Pantheon: Well, I can understand their concern, I feel like making stupid faces just to make you look a little bit less's gut wrenching to have someone that sad near you and not do anything about it...

Amumu: hmm...well here are the lotus

Pantheon: wow...that's not much like the lotus she gave Shen...

A monk: that's because they are specially bred here, they are not like this anywhere else in the world.

Pantheon: woa! who are you?

A monk: they call me the blind monk.

Pantheon: wait...your not...

The blind monk: Yes, I am.

Pantheon: So you-

The blind monk: I did.

Pantheon: and they-

The blind monk: yes.

Pantheon: was it because of your *indicates his eyes*

The blind monk: while I find it insensitive that's you would use hand signals...yes.

Pantheon: Well, I need one of these lotus flowers.

The blind monk: Hmm...I would not normally allow it...

Pantheon: it's for Akali, she used to live here.

The blind monk: hmm... You a a champion of the league too yes? Then take one.

Pantheon: Thank you. Good bye Amumu. *rockets off* (distantly) I bet you get all the girls!

Amumu: * a small smile grows on his face*

- Middle of the night. Akali's returning from Shen's place where she left a Japanese Lotus at his door, with a note. In her way back, she notices a shadow following her. While keeping a steady peace, quietly she started to draw her kamas, then, all of a sudden, she turned around, weapons drawn -

Akali: Who is there? (Looking into the darkness) Show yourself!

- A slim figure slowly appears in front of her -

Ashe: Hello there, miss Akali.

Akali: (Confused) Wha-- Queen Ashe? What are you doing here?

Ashe: I wanted to talk with you.

Akali: In the middle of the night?

Ashe: Excuse me for that. You see, I happened to be in the neighborhood and saw you walking by the street, so I came here as fast as I could to caught up with you. I hope I didn't startle you.

- Akali puts her kamas back in their place and looks at Ashe. She looks as radiant as always, a fairytale princess, both polite and intelligent. She can't help but to feel a little jealous -

Akali: It's ok, you didn't scare me much, haha. What is it you want to talk about?

Ashe: This (Ashe shows her a white japanese lotus, all wrinkled now).

Akali: (Surprised) How? (Composed and serious) Where did you get that?

Ashe: Let's just say I got it from a friend.

Akali: (Realizes how things are) You! You were on the phone earlier!

Ashe: Well, aren't you a clever one.

Akali: But I don't understand... why were you at Shen-sempai's place? I mean, you ARE a queen after all, shouldn't you be at your palace with your king or something?

Ashe: Don't get your head around it too much, girl. To put it simply, me and Tryndammere are together because of a political agreement, that's all.

Akali: You mean, you don't like him?

Ashe: (Uninterested) He was fine at first, pretty much a cute barbarian, but we're not meant to be together, that's all. Nevertheless, that matters nothing; our arrangement has made several people happy, and that makes me happy as well...

Akali: But a life with no love...

Ashe: Love has nothing to do in politics, girl, learn that and save yourself some headaches.

Akali: (Confused) What's the deal with Shen-sempai then? I don't get it.

Ashe: Poor silly girl. You see, Shen is a very influential person in Ionia. He might not be royalty himself, but still, he has managed to get some serious recognition over there. The people of that far realm often say he should be name Regeant of the land, for he sees much more than mere mortals.

Akali: (Proud of) I acknowledge that. He's the Eye of the Twilight after all. He brings peace and equilibrium to the world. I have no doubt he would made an amazing Regeant.

Ashe: It's good you get to see that, at least. I assume my motives for this... "entanglement" with him wont surprise you much then.

Akali: (Shocked) You mean... You want him...

Ashe: I want him to rise and be king, as he should be. With me by his side. Together, we could amass a kingdom of epic proportions and finally bring peace to this corrupted land.

Akali: You... you can't be serious!

Ashe: Oh girl, I assure you I am. And this (extends her hand with the lotus in it) doesn't fit into my plans (crushes it and lets it be blown by the night wind). I cannot have my future king to be upset with some irrelevant matters concerning a peasant and her childish concept of "love".

Akali: Peasan-- Childish? You might be a queen, but you certainly are not very polite. Im not a child. What I feel towards Shen-sempai is real, and it really comes to me as a surprise you can be so cold and distant about the whole thing. I mean, haven't you ever loved someone before?

Ashe: (Picked with her guard down. Looks at the ground) Once. He was a real man; funny, strong, loyal... but he left me without saying a thing. I never understood why... (shakes her head and looks strongly into Akali) ... that's all in the past now. Now I am a queen and I must act as such. I will not tolerate you interfering with my affairs, is that clear?

Akali: Oh yeah? (Brings her kamas out again) Maybe we can settle this here. No one's watching. If I defeat you, you leave Shen-sempai alone, what about that, old hag?

Ashe: (Laughing) Ha-ha-ha, you really amuse me. You really think I would fight you here, in the middle of the street? Get a grip of youself, you spoiled brat, I'm not doing that. The reason is quite simple, even so much, you can understand it. Shen worships me, like he should do. What do you think will happen if you actually tell him I'm using him? That's right, you would destroy him, and I bet you don't want that to happen.

- Akali remains silent, but really angry. After a while, she puts her kamas away and drops her eyes to the ground -

Ashe: That's a good girl. Now, I don't want to see you near Shen again, is that clear? Ill manage you don't get matches together, not even in opposite teams, until I've gained what I want from him. Oh, and if you think you can cry about this to Tryndammere, you're very wrong. You see, we're three sisters, and while I am the only one with brains, those other two have pretty much my very same looks. Tryndammere is a simple minded buffoon, so, as long as my sisters perform in the bed just as well as I do, he won't realize a thing, not even if you tell him this whole story. He thinks her queenie is just right next to him all the time.

Akali: (Sick mad) You're evil. Real evil.

Ashe: Is that so? I only care for my people and the good sake of all this land. How can you call that evil? It's better that you realize the truth already. You're a selfish kid infatuated with a love that cannot happen. Stick with your kind and leave us adults make your life better, okie-dokie?

- After saying those words, Ashe raised her hand and said goodbye. While Akali remained there, static, watching her dissapear downstreet, she felt anger tears clutching in her eyes.-

Akali: No. (Wiping her face with her sleeve) Enough with the crying. This is serious and I'll need help if I want to make this right. Ezreal won't talk to me, Shen-sempai its out of the question and Brolaf hates me. (Crunching her theeths) I hate to admit it, but the only one who can help me is the only one who cares for me now.... Pantheon, where are you?
Neonir The Lotus
The Lotus

(Arriving back at Akali's place Pantheon knocks on the door)

Pantheon: uhh...hello? anyone there?

*no response*

Pantheon: *peers inside* hmm...she isn't home...where could she be now?

(pantheon searches high and low, asking around and finds no one seems to know where she is)

Pantheon: *looking at his flower* Oh's wilting...I need to get it in some water, I'll call Akali over to see it if I can find her.

(arriving home he spots Akali sitting on his doorstep and with a wide smile runs up to her.)

Pantheon: (sounding very exited and talking very fast) Akali! I went to Ionia and I got you this lotus, it's from that garden the blind monk gave it to me and I squished Amumu to get it!

Akali: you what?

Pantheon: I got you this flower, I thought you might like it. Wait, come inside, I have top put it in some water. *walks inside*

Akali: *looking at the flower* is that a-

Pantheon: yeah, I didn't think so at first because it looked so different but the blind monk said it was so-

Akali: look, it's an amazing gift and I'm very thankful, but I need to tell you something!

Pantheon: (looking a mix of serious and sad) What is it?

Akali: You know Ashe?

Pantheon: Yeah, she's dating Shen behind Tryndameres back isn't she, I'd tell him, but it'd break a bro's heart and that's not something a bro does to a bro.

Akali: She's only doing it so she can be Queen of Ionia!

Pantheon: But...Shen's not a king...

Akali: Not yet anyway.

Pantheon: well, why don't you just tell shen?

Akali: I would, but it'd break his heart...(looking desperately sad)just like Ashe said...

Pantheon: well...what are we going to do?

Akali: (a tear rolling down her cheek) I don't know...that's the problem...

Pantheon: well...a wise man once said to me, when something like this happens, you have two options. the first: time heals all wounds.

Akali: *looks up*

Pantheon: and the second, we can get up, get over our fears and *stands up* Do something about it!

Akali: But what can we do?

Pantheon: Anything we want.

Akali: But how are we going to stop her?!

Pantheon: I'm not sure yet...But I do know one thing: We need to assemble the bro's.

Akali: Why? how are the "bro's" going to help?

Pantheon: Trust me, The bro's will know what to do.

Akali: ...okay then...lets go.

Pantheon: grab onto my shield.

Akali: *grabs onto the shield*

Pantheon: now keep your head down. *sky rockets up, through the roof*

Akali: What the... What the hell!

Pantheon: how did you think I did grand Skyfalls?

(flying off to assemble the bro's pantheon holds Akali tight, making sure she doesn't fall.)

Seskahin is offline  
Old 12/18/2010, 13:48   #3
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12-06-2010, 08:01 PM
Neonir The Brosembly
The Brosembly

(after a straight six hours of flying pantheon and Akali had finally finished assembling the bro's there were many people there, just some included Brolaf, Taric, Udyr, Gragas, Malphite, Yi, Jax, Nasus, Morde, Rammus, Singed, Tryndamere, Xin zhao, warwick, Corki, blitzcrank, Mundo and Alistair.)

Akali: my's wind blasted......I'm going to need a hairbrush...

Taric: here use mine. *hands her a jewel encrusted hairbrush*

Akali: hey, how is Taric a Bro? I thought you guys didn't like gay's!

Pantheon: No...we just don't like Ezreal much, Taric, he's still a bro...he just likes other bro's, you know? I mean, if he starts getting all q ueer on us bro's, well he's not going to be a bro, but so long as he's just a bro he'll be a bro.

Akali: uhuh...

Pantheon: okay, bro's

The assembly: bro!

Pantheon: we got a problem Bro's, you know ashe, yeah, that one, she dating Shen behind Tryndameres back, sorry bro.

Tryndamere: she's what? but she was in bed with me!

Pantheon: Not true bro, that was her sister.

Tryndamere: Bro... I wouldn't believe you but...well a bro wouldn't lie to a bro I guess...

Pantheon: Sorry bro.

Tryndamere: it's cool Bro, I've been suspecting it for a while, last night I was totally like: "Who is this women! My ashe doesn't do me this good!" I guess I was right...

Pantheon: Now, on the the problem Bro's we need to stop her.

Yi: But hasn't the damage already been done?

Pantheon: well ya see, the main problem wasn't the cheating, well that was the problem, but it wasn't the biggest one. She's been cheating on our bro so she can get shen to become king so she can be queen!

Brolaf: Bro... so she's like...a triple cow!

Pantheon: that's right bro and we have to stop her.

Heimerdinger: Ah, but I see a fatal floor in your plan. If we tell anyone, they may tell others which will ruin the truce in the Fjord and subsequently may cause a new war to begin.

Pantheon: that's why, bro's I have assembles you all here, we need to stop her, and at the same time, keep the peace, cause if the war starts up, then it could start other wars, which would destroy the league of legends, then we'd all be out of a job.

Akali: so...does anyone have a plan?

Rammus: ok...

The assembly: *looks towards him*

Rammus: *nods slightly*

Pantheon: ...That's it! we need to do two things. firstly: we need to put someone up against Shen for the contest to be ruler. Second, we need to ashe really, Really drunk.

Akali: But who would we campaign for?

Pantheon: well the way I see it, we have three options, Mundo: he becomes regent as he pleases, Rammus, he is already king of the koopas or you Akali.

Akali: me...why?

Pantheon: think about it, you grew up there, you know what it's like to live there, you know what it needs and you're smart enough to do it right.

Akali: okay...I'll do it...

Pantheon: Okay, now who's going to get Ashe REALLY drunk?

*most of the assembly puts their hand up*

Pantheon: look, we can't all get her drunk. It needs to be someone with class...someone who knows their way around a women's heart... someone who we know get's all the girls....I think we all know who it needs to be.

Rammus: ok

- Several weeks have passed since the Brosembly decided to take actions against Ashe's plan. A new Regent contest was being held in Ionia for the Regent seat, and it came as no surprise that Shen was running up for it. A few of the bros decided to accompany Akali back to her homeland and prepare her for what was about to happen. -

[Bros headquarters]

Udyr: Ok, Akali, are you ready?

Akali: (Focused) I am.

Brolaf: Im not convinced about this. Look at her, she's just a sack of bones!

Akali: (Confronting him) Wanna taste some of your bones, dic k head?

Pantheon: (Getting in the middle) Whooa, whooa, easy there boys. Save it for Shen.

Akali: (Looking at Pantheon) What?

Pantheon: (Uncomfortable) Uhm... no one has told her?

- The bros remain silent -

Akali: Tell me what?!

Xin Zhao: Usually, no more than one person runs for the Regent throne at once. When this happens, its all cheers and giggles, since its an unanimous vote...

Udyr: Since we put you up against Shen, rules have changed. The Ionian court demands both candidates show their abilities in a match, one against the other... (Silence for a few seconds) To the death.

Akali: (Shocked) WHAT?! Does that mean I have to.... No, I can't do it. We have to come up with a better plan.

Udyr: There is no better plan Akali. If Shen gets to be Regent, he will be Ashe's puppet forever and she will rule all over this place. Want to see your homeland turned into a barbarian wasteland?

Tryndamere: Dude!

Udyr: Sorry Tryn, but its true. You could clean up every now and then.

Tryndamere: (Ashamed) Yeah... what a drag.

Udyr: (Holding her by the shoulders) Now's the moment, Akali. We talked about this before, you gotta do what you gotta do. It's for his own sake.

Akali: Are you seriously telling me it's better for Shen-semapi to die? No way, that's not gonna happen.

Ashe: That's a good girl (Appearing out of nowhere with a cocky grin in her face) You don't want Shen to die, but you also don't want him to be with me. Uuh, such a delicious tragedy you've gotten yourself into.

Brolaf: (Waving his axe recklessly) Everyone back off, I'm finishing this now.

Ashe: You back off, you stupid ape! Should you put even a finger on me and the entire League would be after you. Not only would you lose your jobs, but your lives as well. You don't murder a queen, even you should know that!

Brolaf: ....

Pantheon: I hate to say it but she's right. We cannot kill her, but we can still stop her. (Looks over to Akali) Please Akali, do this. It's the only way.

Akali: But... but Pantheon, I... I love Shen-sempai.

Pantheon: (Hides his pain and smiles) Then, make sure you don't harm him "too much".

Ashe: (Mocking him) Awwww, look at him, the good samaritan. Be a man already Pantheon and fight for your love. You should be up there fighting my fiancée, not this little brat.

Pantheon: (Looks at her, defiant) You will have what you deserve Ashe.

Ashe: I'm so afraid, ahaha. Don't you see it? This little girl won't fight his beloved ninja, she just can't. Her emotions control her as I will control Shen in a few minutes. This is a lost cause and you all have already bored me (Walks towards Heim) Move aside, I command you! (Heim steps aside, confused). Should you decide to confront your destiny, child, I'll be sure to see your guts spilled all over the arena in the front row. Won't miss it for anything, ciao.

-Ashe leaves, laughing and laughing -

Pantheon: So Akali, what is it gonna be?

Akali: (Thinking) You're right. This is the only way. I'll try to find a way to defeat sempai and not kill him, but I just cannot allow him to be controlled by that crazy bitc h.

Udyr: Now we're talking!

Warwick: Way to go!

Taric: Fabulooooouuuuuuus!

Pantheon: (Smiling) I'm proud of you. Now go out there and give em' hell.

- Akali jumps and stretches, goes towards the arena and looks back at Pantheon. She's smiling. Then, she dissapears. The bros remain there, all looking at Pantheon -

Brolaf: (Hand in his shoulder) Bro, are you alright?

Pantheon: Ye... (clears his throath) Yeah, I think I will. Let's get out of here.

- The bros leave the headquarters -

[Ionian Arena of Destiny]

Regent: My beloved people, I thank you all for gathering here in this very special occasion. As you all know, my time as your Regent is coming to an end, and the time to chose a succesor has arrived. You're all here to witness history in the making, as I will chose wich one of these two candidates its more fit to sit in the throne of Ionia for the next fourteen years.

Crowd: (Cherring and making noise) Who-hoo!

Regent: First, we have someone who needs little introduction. You all know him, the Eye of the Twilight, sworn protector of our land and seeker of the equilibrium. I give you, Shen!

- Shen enters the arena and a massive cheer fills the place. He salutes politely and waits at his corner -

Regent: Our second candidate is a young girl, specialized in mastering the dark arts of movement and surprise, a loyal soldier working for the kingdom of Ionia, here is Akali!

- As Akali enters the arena, a second wave of applauses explodes making it not certain who between the two is the favorite -

Regent: As you all know, our traditions demand we decide who will sit at the throne with a battle match until death. Our two contestants are equally prepared and trained in the arts of combat, and it only seems fair we get to see both of their abilities in the field before I make a decision. Withouth further delay, it is time the match begins. Both contestants, please meet in the middle of the arena.

- Akali and Shen walk one towards the other, looking deeply into their eyes -

Shen: (Super serious) Why are you doing this?

Akali: Shen-sempai, I...

Regent: May the battle...

Shen: I never took you for a power seeking woman. I always thought of you differently... Guess I was wrong.

Akali: No! Shen-sempai, this is...

Regent: Begin....

Akali: It's all a misunderstanding, I don't want to kill you.

Shen: You should have thought of that before stepping in here, kiddo.

Regent: NOW!

- Shen and Akali both draw their weapons at the same time and the battle begins. Kamas fly all over the place, and while Shen shows amazing skills evading them, Akali doesn't stop or hold back at any rate. Eventually, one of the kamas hits Shen in the face and he's forced to step back. Akali stays at the center of the arena, panting and sweating, but extremely focused -

Shen: There is something you're not telling me (Shen looks at her trying to get an honest answer, but Akali evades his eyes) Tell me, why are you here!

Akali: I... I... can't!

- Shen starts attacking her insanely fast, but never manages to get a direct hit. Akali uses her shroud to hide and counterattack, but Shen's movements are too fast. Eventually, Akali misses her step and Shen takes advantage of that, Ki strikes her in the back and knocks her down -

Pantheon: (Getting up his seat) SHI-T! IM COMING! MAAAAAAAAANNNNNNN....

- Brolaf, Singed and Udyr all jump over Pantheon and prevent him from Grand Skyfalling on Shen. Akali struggles to get up -

Shen: (Serious and cold) Why are you doing this? Do you really want the throne of Ionia so bad?

Akali: (Barely standing) I won't tell you. I can't.

Shen: (Mad) I trusted you.

Akali: You... are wrong, sempai.

Shen: What?

Akali: You're with the wrong woman.

Shen: (Furious) That is what this is about?! You and Ahse?! Are you fighting me just because you're jealous of her?! That's stupid Akali, insanely stupid. This is serious, do you realize that? One of us has to die to end this madness, and its all over some teenage complex of you?

Akali: (Shuts her eyes and screams as loud as she can) I AM NOT A GIRL! Stop saying I am one! Im a woman, I can think for myself and I think you're mistaken, sempai. If I have to take you down to make you realize that, I'll do it.

- Shen looks at her, and adopts his attack stance -

Shen: Bring it on, woman.

- A new round begins, and this time, none of them is taking it easy. They both attack and defend so fast, the audience can't really see what's happening. Even the bros blink from time to time to try and focus their view, but they're both there, fighting ferociously and with no holds. After a few minutes, blood starts to spurr all over the place, and the shouting becomes screams of pain on both sides. The battle was turning into a massacre -

Shen: (Evading a Shadow Dash) You rely too heavily on your burst damage, but fail to realize... (Shen taunts Akali and Ki strikes her again, this time in the front) I can resist it!

Akali: (Takes the Ki strike right in the chest) And you fail to realize you can't resist this! (Akali does her super combo, starting with her shroud and picks up Shen with his guard down).

Shen: (Confused) Wha-- Quicksilver Sash? Oh no...

- Akali hits Shen so hard he goes flying all over the arena and ends up at the other side of it. Quickly, she gets her kama and points it towards Shen's neck. He's bleeding and can't see from one eye, but still, he looks at her and smiles -

Shen: Nicely played (coughs up blood)... Now finish it an seize your throne.

- The place is quiet as a graveyard. No one dares to speak a sound, and even the Regent himself seems speechless. Akali doesn't show any emotions as she drives her kama more and more near Shen's yugular -

Akali: Shen-sempai... (her hand starts shaking)

Shen: Wha... what are you doing? Finish me already! You... you've been trained to do that! If you don't... then...

Akali: (Interrupting) I love you, Shen-sempai.

Shen: (Confused and shocked) You... you what?

Akali: "Aishi teru"means I love you. I don't want to see you with another woman. I could not stand the sight. I'm here, fighting for you, not against you... I... I want you to be happy, but with a woman that deserves you. (Tears start rolling down her eyes) I know I act like a spoiled brat sometimes, and I.... I know you see me only as your little sister... and I know I don't have the body or the mind of an adult woman, but Shen-sempai... I love you like I can not love anyone else, ever... in the world.

- Akali looks at the Regent -

Akali: I cannot kill him.

Regent: (Like waking up from a dream) Then... you won't be named ruler of Ionia.

Akali: I don't want to rule, but since he actually lost over me, I think he too isn't fit for the task either.

Regent: (Confused and thinking) Uhmmm... I suppouse you're right. This has been a major dissapointment. None of you deserve to rule this sacred and beautiful land. (Rising his voice) This battle has ended in a draw, since both candidates have been judge as not fit for the role of Regent! A new contest will be open shortly,and you two (looks back at the arena) are not permitted to participate, is that clear? I won't be fooled again by your petty conflicts. Expect some serious punishment for this mockery, both of you. (Rises his voice once again) This event has ended. Good day.

- The Regent leaves the arena, leaving Akali exhausted and Shen almost dead in the ground. As soon as the monarch leaves the place, the rest of the people start doing so as well. The popular opinion is that the whole thing was a set up and a fraud. After a short while, only a few remain at the arena, where Akali is still and silent, holding the same position she was after the figh ended -

Udyr: Akali, are you alright?

Akali: (Immobile) I... think... we won, didn't we?

Ashe: Yes girl, you did (she appears out of the blue, as usual) You managed to stop me from getting my hands into the Ionian court, and since Shen can not longer participate in any future contest, he is of not use to me.

Tryndamere: (Confronts her) You... I was expecting to see you here! You have some serious explaining to do to, Queen Ashe!

Ashe: (Tired of him) What in Frejlord's name are you babblering about, Tryndamere? I have nothing to explain to you. Don't pretend you're not happy with me as your "trophy wife". Ok, I'll play the part, but please, don't make a fool out of yourself. We're not a couple.

Tryndamere: ....

Ashe: Now get me away of this accursed island. I need a massage.

Brolaf: Ha! Like he's gonna...

Tryndamere: Im coming!

Brolaf: DUDE! What the fuc k?

- Tryndamere leaves after Ashe, leaving only a few bros and Akali there -

Brolaf: Pfss, so much for "bros before hoes" I guess.

Singed: Now, now, let's get Akali out of here. She's badly injured and she might need some serious... whooa!

- Suddenly Akali collapses and loses consciousness. The last thing she hears before drifting away completely is Pantheon's voice asking: "Where is Shen?"-


Okay, it was long, but I think the story deserved it. The conclusion is about to come anytime now!
Im off to bed for now. This really got me tired. G' night!
Neonir The next day
The next day.

(A candle lit dinner, Ashe and Rammus eat, and drink from fine wine.)

Ashe: you know rammus...I don't know what it is...animal magnetism...but I've always been a fan of how you do things. (finishes off a glass of wine)

Rammus: ok

Ashe: So...are you busy later? Can I come over?

Rammus: ok.

Ashe: (with a look of pure glee) alright, I'll grab my coat! *finishes off another glass of wine*

(they arrive at rammus' home)

Ashe: *Pulls out another bottle of wine* want some more? I think I've had a fair bit, but you haven't touched a drop...

Rammus: *looks at her*

Ashe: More for me then. *pours herself a large glass, and drinks it in one go* I must say, I find you very *hic*....attractive..and if I weren't the sophisticated...queeny person I am, I'd probably do something really stupid. Stuuuupid...that's a funny's like stu...then a pid!

Rammus: ok

Ashe: (with very slurred speach) hey, you know what'd be fun? let's get totally wasted!

Rammus: *smiles a little bit* ok

Ashe: *drops the glass and starts drinking from the bottle* Hehehe, you know who would like a drink fest like this!? TRYNDAMERE! *pulls up a phone, and mashes a number in*

Tryndamere: uhh hello? you'll have to speak up...I'm just a little bit drunk over here...

Ashe: Me too! what a co-incidence!

Tryndamere: you drunk? this I gotta see! Where are you?

Ashe: at Rammus' plash! *hangs up, then finishes off the bottle*

(about an hour, and several bottles of wine later tryndamere arrives)

Ashe: heey! it's yew! *opening the door holding a bottle of Graggy Ice*

Tryndamere: wow, you really are drunk! wait...there was something that the bro's wanted to do to do with getting you drunk...what does it matter, pass me that Graggy Ice woman!!

(both end up getting really, REALLY pissed. The next morning they wake up with Pantheon banging his spear against his shield as well as akali and the bro's all standing around them.)

Pantheon: Wakey, wakey sleepy heads! *bangs his shield again*

Tryndamere: sto- stop that! my head is killing me...

Ashe: what the...what the hell...where am I...?

Akali: your at my place, we woulda been at Pantheon's but he still hasn't patched up the roof yet, it was really drafty.

Ashe: you- You! why- wh- ho- *see's Rammus in the corner* did I... did I just get drunk?

Pantheon: you say that as if you've never...You have never been drunk before! have you! ooh man, this is too good!

Ashe: Shut it, I'm out of here-

Akali: ah ah ah! not so fast! *pulls out a series of pictures* and a rolled up piece of paper.

Tryndamere: oh no...

Brolaf: I told ya man, Bro's before h oes....

Tryndamere: dammit...

Ashe: *sitting up* what, what is it?

Pantheon: *pushing her back down* Umm...well, I'd call it revenge...or maybe "just deserts"...or in the theme of Ionia: karmic justice.

Ashe: wha- gimme them pictures! *trying to grab them*

Pantheon: *shoving her back down again* sorry, but we will give you a preview.

Akali: *flips over one picture of Ashe, tryndamere and urgot in the same bed, all naked and doing things that would make even a satanist feel dirty* I- You a- m- ho- oh god...

Tryndamere: guys really went all out dintcha?

Pantheon: that's only the first photo. they get better.

Akali: *Going through each of each of them with different characters, but all with tryndamere and Ashe. Horrific scenes of machine on skin, human on animal, each one more horrific than the last* And that was before 10:30 it got so bad after that we just couldn't watch anymore...

Ashe: god...*starts acting as if she had gunk on her skin*

Tryndamere: so...what do we have to do to keep all of this quiet?

Pantheon: Nothing, by that I mean, you can't stop us from what we're about to do.

Ashe: And what is that!?

Akali: *unfurling the piece of paper* this is a legally binding statement, forfeiting all your land, power, and wealth to us, the bro's.

Ashe: you- you can't do that...I won't let you!

Akali: you see that's the beauty of it, your name means nothing anymore, you no longer have a crack team of councilors, and if you tell anyone of what we did then we release the pictures and you are taken out of power anyway.

Ashe: why would I be taken out of power?

Brolaf: We just made a new rule: any regent that sleep's with Urgot is taken out of power. *nods at Akali who writes something down on a chart*

Tryndamere: well he's got us there honey...

Ashe: don't call me that!

Tryndamere: wha- don't you love me anymore?

Ashe: I never loved you you twit! it was political! I wanted more power!

Tryndamere: really are a cow... Meh, it's cool, your sister still loves me.

Ashe: She does?

Tryndamere: Yeah, she proposed to me the other night, I forgot to mention. *hi fives Pantheon*

Pantheon: Tryndamere, you're a bro at heart, we all know that, what you did you did out of stupidity, but well, no one can help being stupid. And anyway, you helped us a lot in fighting Ashe, so you get to keep your land.

Tryndamere: ...then who get's to take Ashe's place?

Brolaf: Well, in reality we, The bro's will hold the power, but we plan to use your new fiance as our figure head, and because they are identical twins no one will be able to tell the difference, thus keeping both barbarians and the fjord in perfect harmony.

Heimerdinger: *looking at ashe* yes, it was rather Ingenious wasn't it?

Ashe: you can't just replace me with no one knowing, I'll tell everyone!

Morde: ah, that's where your wrong, firstly, if you do we release the pictures that only include you and Urgot, which by the way, nodding at Akali, is now punishable by death!
And anyway, your name isn't "Ashe" anymore, that's your sisters name now, your name is now Evelynn.

Evelynn: can'

Akali: hush little girl, with your luck you'll be able to re-enter the league and keep up a decent living...that is if you're any good without your bow...I mean, it'd be hard to worse than the old Evelynn

Evelynn: what happened to my bow, and what about the other Evelynn!?

Pantheon: Your bow is now your sisters bow and the other Evelynn... we sent her on a mission, she's now looking for the master of Kumungu in the Kumungu jungle.

Evelynn: what happens when she finds him?

Morde: She can't he doesn't exist!

Evelynn: pretty much sent her to the jungle for the rest of her life?

Pantheon: ya never know, it might do her some good, not like were loosing anything special, she was going near broke anyway.

Evelynn: but...I don't look anything like evelynn, no one will believe you.

Shen: *walking in through a doorway behind her* That's where I come in!

Evelynn: *smiling* Shen! help me, these people are insane!

Shen: I'm not falling for anymore of your lies, you lied to me, made me fight Akali and now I'm putting it right. I've put a tin cloud of dust around you so you appear to be evelynn. You can also use it to turn invisible, but only for short periods of time, just like the real Evelynn.

Evelynn: but what if I refuse to go back to the league like this?

Shen: then we say you retired, you go on with your life as Evelynn.

Evelynn: I...I..okay...*sobbing softly*

Brolaf: And that is how its done Bro's! High fives all round! *high fives everyone*

Pantheon: Hey akali, can I speak to you outside for a moment?

Akali: okay...*walks outside*

Pantheon: I just wanted to say, if you want to be with shen I understand, He's a real nice guy, very supportive, intelligent, funny, polite he's everything you deserve an-

Akali: *softly kisses him on the cheek* I think I'm going to give it some time I don't think I'm ready to decide quite yet, ya never know I might even fall for Rammus, you know, he does get all the girls.

Pantheon: I just wanted you to know I just want you to be happy okay? what makes you happy makes me happy. That, and Badass spikes.

Akali: *laughing,* yes, they make me happy too. *then smiling sweetly walks back inside.*

Pantheon: wait, one more thing!

Akali: yes?

Pantheon: the bro's and I talked it over, and were deciding to make you and Shen official Bro's.

Akali: I'm not sure if that's a compliment or an insult...

Pantheon: Trust me, it's a good thing.

Akali: Good.

Pantheon: Bro's!

The bro's: yeah?

Pantheon: Who's up for going to the dungeon?

The bro's:hell yeah!

Shen: what about Evelynn Here?

Pantheon: She can come too, we'll drop her off at her home afterwards!

The Bro's: Let's go!

(A distant Voice): heey wait up!

Brolaf: hey is that... Ezreal!

Ezreal: Brolaf! *embraces Brolaf* Bro, I couldn't let you leave without me.

Brolaf: It's good bro, it's good.

Pantheon: So are we ready everyone?

Everyone: Ready!

Pantheon: *shoots up into the sky, somehow bringing with him everyone else, as he Flies he grabs onto Akali's hand as they shoot off into the sunset...or the Dungeon anyway, close enough right?*

Thank you everyone for reading, We may continue the series, we may just make a bunch of side stories or we make make a new story all together, I dunno yet! it's been an honor writing for you guys and I hoped you all enjoyed it!

Special thanks to: Enmiand! You rock Bro!
Seskahin is offline  
Old 12/18/2010, 14:42   #4
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Biggest Spam ever seen *-*

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Old 12/18/2010, 15:35   #5
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Bei "hey" hab ich aufgehört zu lesen.
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Old 12/18/2010, 15:45   #6

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puh.. also ALLES hab ich mir nicht durchgelesen.
vor allem weils auch nur bis zu einem gewissen grad lustig ist. :/
The Zorkas is offline  
Old 12/18/2010, 15:55   #7

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Bis "Quote" gelesen.
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Old 12/18/2010, 15:58   #8
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witzig ist es schon
aber wer wird denn schon alles durchlesen
beim 2. mal wars mit zuviel
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Old 12/18/2010, 16:49   #9
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Das ist aus dem Forum kopiert. ;o
ayy lmao is offline  
Old 12/18/2010, 17:06   #10
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Auch noch ohne Quellenangabe?


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