how to get the +9

The best way to upgrade a item with a high chance to succeed is using the guild blacksmith (he improves the chance of a success by 10%). But be careful, the guild blacksmith also could destroy your items, and he demands much more money for the upgrade than the normal blacksmith in town (e.g. upgrade lv 30 weapon to +6 - 300.000 Yang/Gold).

If your item is very valuable and you don't want that the blacksmith fails (and destroys) it, you have to use a blessing scroll - this is also a very nice item, you can use it by drag-and-drop it on the item you want to grade up. If the upgrade fails, your item doesn't disappear, it will just decrease it's upgrade level by one (example: you use blessing scroll for full moon sword +1 to +2. If you succeed, the weapon is +2 (as usual), but if you fail, it will be +0 again (-1)). Unfortunately, blessing scrolls are very expensive, especially for new players who don't want to spend money for the game.

Well, in my opinion the best way for you to go for +9 is the guild blacksmith. His upgrades are expensive but the most of them succeed until the item is +6 (my personal experience) - afterwards there's a high risk of failure (also my personal experience).

Last but not least, you were asking for the things about the old lady, and the luck. First of all, I want to say that I don't looked the fact up, it's also an experience I made. It is all about the luck. Even if the old lady says, that today is the day on which you're the most luckiest person on this planet (I don't think she really says that, but I think you'll get it), your item can fail at upgrading. And don't believe what other's say about tricks - there are no tricks - most just want to get your valuable items.