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I can say only that I use softether, not entirely stable but it is free.
As for the other questions, the only thing I'd advise against is speed hacking /w tradepacks on or abusing the speed for excessive periods of time. Haulers don't seem to have an issue, as none have reported being banned for having it at max and I haven't seen a ban on the swim in ages an even then it was a player caught outright by a GM.
I honestly think trion has for the most part, given up.
I was banned when swimming before 2 year :D but I was swimming with full speed + swim fins this is why I was banned . I was used it without swim fins for 1 month and I was using 2 account same time just alt account banned real account not banned they gived Suspicious user debuff for both account but just they banned alt which not have patron maybe they don't have enough ass for ban patron users much XD